Shelley J Whitehead

When it all goes wrong on the first date

15 April, 2014

It is really frustrating when two lovely people get together and it all goes wrong. I can’t be with you while it all unfolds, coaching you on what to say and what not to say or do. When a first date goes wrong, it is generally due to a simple mistake or oversight. Remember you are there to make a new friend; to get to know a man. Whether or not he is the perfect future life partner for you, I really believe that if he is an honourable person, it is up to you to leave him feeling great for having spent some time in your company.

First impressions

First impressions are vital and although I always encourage a woman to give a man a second chance, the opposite is not true for men. If he cannot connect with you he emotionally thinks that you are not for him and he will seldom give you a second chance. He will not be calling you for the second date unless he really enjoyed the first.

You have one chance to be your most authentic, relaxed, interesting lovely-self and if you match his energy, you can be sure he will call again for a second date. It’s about making the first date a real success. Very often the reason a man did not want a second date will surprise you. It’s about getting needs met and it has nothing to do with how beautiful, funny, engaging or successful you are. If you are on a date with a man who has a particular need that you are not able to fulfil because he may not be relationship-ready or he has insecurities, he is not going to ask you out on a second date. This is all about his issues and has nothing to do with you.

After working with many women who have been confused as to why they aren’t getting second dates, and conducting thousands of surveys on what men find most unacceptable on a date, I would love to share with you some of the deadly mistakes women make.

Becoming the one

The dating process is not so much about finding the one as it is about BECOMING THE ONE. It’s about taking responsibility for what you are doing, experiencing and attracting into your lives and if it is not what you want, you need to find another way of doing it. It is not about settling for any man and giving up on your values and needs. I have seen many times over how women will compromise their values to meet their needs.

Some women have become so desperate that they have settled for a man, instead of the man. The right man is not going to come along if you do not feel good about yourself.  Know what is important to you. Have a clear idea about what you most value and how you consistently want to feel and be treated in your ideal relationship.

Please download my free report on the homepage:  THE SIX BIGGEST DATING MISTAKES so you can avoid the common pitfalls.

Wishing you Success in Love

Shelley J Whitehead

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