Shelley J Whitehead

The 5 Foundation Rules for Success In Love

4 April, 2021

I am so grateful to have been mentored by my Aunt, Yvonne Doucha, who has spent over 60  years on a quest to find a spiritual path that resonates with her.  Along the way I have benefited so much from the many lessons and teachings of the great Masters that she has shared with me, even though at the age of 5 I didn’t understand that “what we resist persists” and often increases.

It all began for her in 1953 when she met the  now Zen Master, Albert Low. Albert then introduced her to “In Search Of The Miraculous” by Peter Ouspensky.  She continued her journey, meeting Krishnamurti, and then spending almost 30 years under the guidance of Leon MacLaren, the founder of the School Of Economic Science, and finally in the latter part of her life she has joined Sahaj Marg.

The Five Foundation Rules for Success help in searching for love.  They are not unique as they have been mentioned by many Masters, Guru’s and Wise Men through the ages in different languages, in different ways.  They certainly work, and because of my aunt making me aware of them,  I have always approached life with a very different perspective and attitude.

When I sit down to the very first coaching session with a new client, I always mention the “Five Foundation Rules”. These are the Five Rules that lead to great success, happiness and joy in your life when applied. Whatever you think will manifest in your life.   By desiring and deciding on a different course of action you can have what you desire.

1. What you focus on increases

Whatever you focus your attention on, whatever you think attaches to your emotions and creates the feeling.  We all know that wonderful great hair day feeling, the sun is shining and everyone is smiling.  It just gets better, and we feel happier.

The same is true when we are in a negative state, a state of worry, fear and pain.  When we sink into that pit of despair it just gets worse, and darker.  This state can last for days and for some people, even years.

If you want to improve your life you need to focus on what you want.

Whatever you think about and believe will become your reality.  Thoughts become feelings and the more you focus on your thoughts, the more you amplify the results you experience. 

2. No-one will be the way you want them to be

We can not expect anyone to be the way we want them to be.  They are unique and they behave in a way that serves them at the time, although very often it does not serve us.  We set ourselves up for great pain and disappointment when we expect others to be the way we want them to be.

3. No-one can make you feel the way you feel

How you feel is ultimately your choice.  It is true that we may feel angry, frustrated, or sad when we have experienced a disagreement, betrayal or broken promise in relation to another person.  We can hold on to these feelings of pain, or we can let go and choose to feel differently.  I know that this sounds so simple, but in reality it can be a really hard exercise.  It is so much easier to blame someone for how we feel, but this leaves you in a hugely disempowered state. Practice feeling happy, and thinking happy.

4. To the degree you take responsibility determines your success

By taking responsibility for your thoughts, your emotions, your actions, for whatever is manifesting around you and for whatever part you have played by attracting it into your life, you also take responsibility for increasing or changing whatever is or is not working.  It is being willing to take whatever action is needed to change whatever is happening.  Experience shows that people who take responsibility for how they feel are happier and more fulfilled, but it does come at a price.  You need to give up being a victim of circumstances and experiences.

5. If you cannot change it, you can change your attitude

So many times in our lives, things do not go as planned.  We can become full of bitterness and disappointment when we are unable to change what has happened.  The way to change our attitude when we are unable to change our circumstances is to change our thoughts.  All our feelings stem from out thoughts.  So much of this happens at a very fast, unconscious level and awareness of our thinking is critical to making these changes.  You can change your attitude if you desire and decide to do so.

It begins just by observing our thoughts and how often the negative ones take over.  When you become aware of the negative thoughts that become feelings, you can replace them with the positive ones.  This then changes the way we act and behave.  There are many ways to change your attitude, but this is the one I recommend the most.  This is not a wonderful, new discovery.  It’s been practiced by the Wise Men, Masters and Sages throughout the centuries.   It requires persistence and commitment, and it’s something we practice for the rest of our lives.  It is an opportunity to grow.

I always ask myself “How I can make this situation work for me?”  Another great question to ask yourself is “What can I do to change the way I feel?”

You are here for a reason and you have a purpose.  Happiness is your birthright.  Today is practice for tomorrow. You don’t need anyone’s permission to be happy.

Wishing you much joy and success.

Shelley J Whitehead

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