It’s easy to mistake lust and love. In the early days of a relationship things often feel confusingly blurred. The chemistry, the excitement, the rush of attraction—it’s easy to mistake one for the other.
Over time, the differences become clear. Love is something that deepens and grows, while lust is often fleeting.
If you’re wondering whether what you’re feeling is something fleeting or something real, listen to your body. If it’s lust, you’ll be full of fleeting butterflies and a sense of urgency. If there’s true love in the mix, you’ll feel a grounded sense of certainty.
Lust can feel intoxicating—love feels grounding
Lust brings an intense, heady rush, but love creates a deep inner sense of peace. If what you’re feeling is mostly adrenaline and urgency, it’s likely lust. Love, on the other hand, feels secure and steady.
Lust fades when the excitement wears off—love deepens over time
Attraction can be powerful, but real love doesn’t lose its spark when the thrill of the new wears off. Love grows stronger with time, even as the initial infatuation settles.
Lust avoids the hard conversations—love is willing to have them
Lust thrives in the honeymoon phase, where everything feels easy. But when challenges arise, does the connection strengthen or crumble? Love embraces the difficult moments, seeing them as opportunities to grow closer.
Lust is driven by desire—love is built on connection, commitment and compatibility
Physical attraction alone isn’t enough to sustain a relationship. Love involves emotional depth, shared values and a desire to build something lasting together.
Lust seeks instant gratification—love is patient
Lust wants everything now—the passion, the connection, the intensity. Love allows time for trust to develop, valuing the process of truly getting to know each other.
Lust is focused on what you want—love considers what you both need
Lust is often self-serving, driven by personal satisfaction. Love is about mutual care, respect and the willingness to meet each other’s needs in a meaningful way.
Does the difference matter?
Lust and love have both their place but if you’re looking for something lasting, it’s important to recognise the difference. Remember that you have deep riches of inner wisdom and pay attention to how a connection really makes you feel—rushed or steady, fleeting or deep, surface-level or truly seen. Love is more than fleeting chemistry. Love develops over time, nourished by a shared commitment to growing together.
